$NUT Hat

Alright, gather 'round, ya degenerates. See this hat? This ain't just thread and fabric. This is a monument to my financial ruin. Yeah, remember when I was the heir to the entire Bawlczak Nut Fortune? Good times. Then came the meme coins. Specifically, $NUT coin. It wasn't even a real coin, was it? Anyway, I lost it all. Every single nut. Gone.

Now, my entire net worth is roughly equal to the lint in this hat's brim. So, wear this hat. Feel the despair. Let it remind you of the inherent absurdity of wealth and the crushing reality of buying high and selling... well, never. It's high-quality material though. Looks great on Zoom calls when you want to subtly signal that you've given up.

Slap it on, own your poor decisions, and maybe buy some more nuts (the merch, you pervs). Helps me rebuild... maybe. Or maybe I'll just blow it all on dogecoin futures. Who knows? I'm unhinged now.

Premium stitching, maximum existential dread

One size fits most lost souls

A bold statement piece for the financially irresponsible

Warning: May attract unsolicited financial advice from strangers.